Wife Gets Pregnant on Vacation

Banta Singh was talking to his travel agent Santa Singh.

 

Banta tells Santa, " I am ready for a vacation. Only this year, I am going to do it a little differently.

 

The last few years, I have been taking your advice on where to go.

 

Three years ago you said go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and my wife Gurpreet got pregnant.

 

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Gurpreet got pregnant again.

 

Last year you suggested Tahiti and Gurpreet once again got pregnant."

 

Santa asks Banta "So , what are you going to do this year that is different?"

 

Banta smiles and says, "This year I'm taking Gurpreet with me!"

 

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A Different Perspective (Beautiful Story)

A Different Perspective

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: ' I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.

 

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

 

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were.
The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?

 

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'What he had written was: ' Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'

 

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?

 

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was much more effective?

 

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

 

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it.

 

Happy Reading. Keep Smiling.

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Sister Mathematical & Sister Logical

Sister Logical & Sister Mathematical 

There were two nuns..

 

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

 

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

 

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

 

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
The past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

 

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

 

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

 

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

 

SM: It's not working.

 

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

 

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

 

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

 

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

 

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

 

Then Sister Logical arrives.

 

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

 

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

 

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

 

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

 

SM: And?

 

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

 

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

 

SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.

 

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

 

SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.

 

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

 

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man
with his pants down.

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The Pastor's Ass (18+ Joke)

The Pastor's Ass

 

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

 

The local paper read:

 

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

 

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

 

The next day, the local paper headline read:

 

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

 

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

 

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

 

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

 

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

 

The bishop fainted.

 

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

 

The next day the paper read:

 

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

 

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

 

The next day the headlines read:

 

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.

 

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . .. even shorten your life.

 

So be yourself and enjoy life.

 

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

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