Sunday, June 28, 2009

Top 22 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".



Top 22 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".

22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.

19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".

Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".

Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".

Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".

Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".

Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".

Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".

Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of SevenZero Four)

16.Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one:1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

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Microsoft Bus in Japan

Microsft Bus in Japan








But School Bus in India



Please Govt. do something................ :-(

Funniest Signs

1) SIGN IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE:

Bargain basement upstairs.



2) NOTICE SENT TO RESIDENTS OF A WILT SHIRE PARISH:

Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.



3) NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER's WINDOW:

Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.



4) SIGN IN A LAUNDROMAT:

Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.



5) IN AN OFFICE:

After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board



6) Sign on motorway garage:Will and Guy's humour - elephant joke

PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS



7) Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR



8) Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR Blind Persons Crossing



9) Notice in a field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES



10) Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS



11) Sign on a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)



12) Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

Aerography Festival in Moscow